Brad wrote a prayer on his last night in Peru. I am copying some of it for each of you to read. It is so powerful, I can't give it the words that he can.
I’m torn tonight because part of me wants to sell everything and simplify our lives and spend it on what really matters. Not only for the Kingdom but for the good of our family. I’m now questioning the motives of some things and challenged to take a hard look at what matters most in life. Peru has a way of doing that. :o)
I am realizing I love comfort and I love stuff. As I sit here in the room in Peru, I realize how sickening that must be to the Lord. It is so shameful that my heart is like this when there are so many lost and hurting people in this world and all I want is more comfort for myself. I see the loss of hope in the children’s eyes around here. I see the poverty where they might get one meal a day. I see the emptiness in the peoples’ hearts as they come to the Carnival to fill the void. I get sad for a few weeks and then it’s back to the grind of American life. I’m saddened at the state of my heart.
When does it change? How does it change? What does God really think of how I live my life?
What does God think about being comfortable anyway? I read the New Testament and these guys were sold out to the work of the Lord. Does my day to day life match the New Testament mentality or have I been brain washed by the culture of “give me more”? While hiking down the mountains in the village above Cajamarca, I was thinking how much simpler the lifestyles are up here and how they have room for the Lord and for relationships. It seems that I am so good at pushing God to the back burner at home and it makes me sick of myself. I came back fired up from Peru last year and then by February things were back to how they always are in my heart.
Do I want the trophies of my life to be material gain OR to be lost souls that were won through music and believers who were changed by an anointed song? Do I want to sell music so I can be more comfortable in America? Or do I want to sell out for the Kingdom and lower my standards of living so I can give money to things that last and are producing much fruit for the kingdom? Or do I want to be a part of the action in another country where the Gospel is ready to be received and the workers are few? Do I want my precious boys to grow up in America where there is more opportunity to be “successful”? OR do I want them to fall in love with Jesus where knowing Him and reaching others is the priority? I wonder how we are doing with that because most of the time it’s about what can they get next from Wal-Mart and not who can they help today.
I’m the same way and am leading them in it. When Deigo was sharing in the Plaza, he had his little two year old girl on his back and she was just watching him share the Gospel to the people there. I was hungry for that type of family life. A family where Jesus is everything and the Gospel is our mission. Not just something we talk about at church. They have reasons to REALLY pray and not simply ask God for a good day today.
Being here in Peru changes things. It opens my eyes to the huge need of Diego as a pastor and what God is doing here. God IS moving in a mighty way here and I love being a part. Even if it’s not moving to Peru, I would love to be able to give financially but our standard of living doesn’t allow it. Diego and his family live in a crappy house according to our standards of living, but they are so happy to be doing the Lord’s work. We have so many distractions in our culture and I feel like we’re missing out on God’s best for our family.
What do I want to see when I look back on my life? Do I want to see a comfortable American Christian or a SOLD OUT believer who gave up comfort for the sake of the Gospel. I want to live the great adventure and make sacrifices for the sake of my KING. I am way too comfortable and need to shake things up. Just wondering what that looks like for my family and me. I think when this happens, then God will smile upon my life and say, “that’s more like it, son.”
When I get to heaven, I want to hear the Lord say, “Well done, son.” I don’t want to hear
the words, “I did use you, but you missed out on so much fruit because you were comfortable in your way of life.” God forbid!! The Gospel is worth the loss of my life.
Lord, I am sorry for my selfish heart. I do long for comfort and things, but I thank You for
showing me my weakness. I ask You now to change me and change my family. Move us and use us wherever You want. Shake us up and make our lives count for eternity. We want to make You proud of us. Thanks again for allowing me to come to Peru. You definitely had work to do in my heart. It is a great place to serve You but mostly to see You up close and learn more of Your heart for others and myself. Bless Peru with Your Word and Your love, Father. In JESUS’ NAME, Amen.
Wow, what questions we should all ask of our lives. I am currently studying Daniel by Beth Moore and she asks us these same questions. Are we falling into the "Babylon Mentality" that says "I am, and there is none beside me." (Is. 47:8,10) How often we feel this, It is all about me? My comfort, my stuff, my, my, my. Fill in the blank. We all have it. How do we stop it? Let's be like Daniel " who resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine," (Daniel 1:8).
Are we letting the things of this world defile us?
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